Friday, June 19, 2009

A Day I have really Dreaded......


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For some reason I have really dreaded this day.... You see it is a day that should mean extreme happiness, but all I feel about it is totally the opposite.
You see, this is the day of our Third Year LID Anniversary!!!! I really had hoped and prayed so hard that by this day we would be celebrating our referral. Many of my friends have already traveled to China, but our day hasn't came yet.
We have even signed up for the Special Needs list December 08', and still we have waited 6 months for more heartache. We have asked for mild needs for our daughter, but it looks like everyone else has also jumped on this boat for a way to get their daughter quicker.

You know.... If it were me running the show; I would give the families with the longest waiting time a chance to get their child before some of the families that have just signed up for this route.

Most of all I just wish China would have mercy on all of us and start picking up the pace of the Referrals. They have slowed down so much that I have heard that those just now signing up are going to be waiting around 6 years. Good Grief!!! Life time is so precious and short that slowing this process down has put many in a spot. Our age is not getting any younger here.

The biggest thing that truly breaks my heart is when my 5 1/2 year old daughter literally pleads with us for her baby sister to come home. One of her phrases is "I miss Mylie". Just this past Wednesday she came over to me and just looked so pitiful... I asked her what was wrong and she started crying like someone she loved had died. I brushed back her hair from her eyes and asked again. Wendy looked up at me and said "I so want Mylie, I need Mylie... she was suppose to play with me. For this reason we are upping our age on our application. It is so sad to see her like this, and every little friend she has made here are either way to busy or on vacation this summer. I've managed to put her in some camps, but it really doesn't help at home.

Please, oh please China hear our plea..... We are so wanting our last one to come home.

Mike seems to think we will only be waiting one more year for non-special needs, but at this rate even the special needs route will be a year more; so we wait.

We had even tossed the idea around of adopting from Ethiopia and then waiting till our referral comes in for China. That won't work because by the time we raise the money for Ethiopia it will be time to travel to China. One other way we had thought was to drop China and just lose our money we have sunk into it so far and go to Ethiopia, but Mike is having a really tough time with that one as well.... So we WAIT.

You know the weird thing is that it only took a year from start to finish for Wendy, and only 6 months from our LID (Log In Date) to see her face. Never would I have dreamed we would be waiting longer than 3 years!!

Please think of us and say a huge prayer that things will pick up for all of us who have been waiting so long for our little ones.

Thank you for reading this long long post.

14 comments:

Sherri & Todd said...

Lesa,

Happy 3rd on your LID! I know just how you feel. We will be coming up on ours in just a little over a 1 1/2 months. It's not fare for those of us who waited so long and to see families with LID in late 2007 or early 2008 jump into SN and have been and come back from China. I agree - they should give those of us who waited so long. I just saw the face of a beautiful child today on the RQ site who had I think a LID of 2008! You know we are waiting with you. I think by the time we go to China there may not be a travel group because so many have either dropped out/ gone somewhere else or did SN. I myself with a LID of 08-08-06 I can't see us waiting no more then another year and I hope i'm wrong, I hope it's less then a year.
Hang in their girl, our turn will come.

hugs from,
Sherri

Lesa said...

Oh my goodness... That just isn't fair!!! I wonder if they got a very mild need or not. I've been on top of our counselor to help us, but nothing yet. I think I've actually pissed them off. ha
But honestly, if the CCAA has rules about them not showing photos and so forth, then they need to add that those who have been in line the longest and are now requesting the other list should come first on getting the referral. I know you understand exactly what I mean.
On facebook I had misunderstood that you were LID the 21st of March. I know that Kristy's is coming up, and for her I'm truly excited!!!!!

Thank you so much for your caring words. If we don't get our referral through the special needs we will be sticking with it.

lesa

Vivian M said...

I hear you, and am sending positive thoughts and prayers your way and to China. Please keep on waiting, I just know your referral is coming.

Special K said...

Still here waiting with you. :)

I don't think switching to another country would bring your daughter home any quicker at this point. Ethiopia has increasing waits from what I've heard. I really think we only have about another year before referral. I'm holding on to that at least.

PS. I agree with your thoughts on SN. There should be a line just like with NSN... not all willy nilly like it is now.

Anne said...

I think referrals off the SN list all have to do with with what you request; I don't think length of time in the process has anything to do with it one way or the other. If you're willing to accept in a wide range with regard to disabilities, age range, and are open to both male and female (my understanding is there are a significant number of male children available), you're going to get your referral quicker. It's that simple. If you're not willing to do that (such as myself), then you're going to wait.

Since referrals seem to be progressing at a rate of one week of logins per month, I agree with Mike that you are at least one year away from a NSN referral. Since our LID date is 11/9/08, I predict we are somewhere between 2.5 and 3 years away.

I know these are not thoughts you want to hear; believe me, I empathize with your frustration. Mae really wants a baby sister as well. I have been so up and down about staying in, getting out, switching to SN, not, etc. Not to mention that fact that we are now faced with paying for a home study update and another round of fees to the government for whatever that form is.

Anne

Anne said...

Oops. I meant our login date was 11/9/06. If it was 08, I would be in assisted living by the time we get our referral!!!

Anne

Lesa said...

Anne that is what we were told too, but we saw a little one and called them on her. They knew that I had been wanting a little one with the particular needs instead they called another couple for her. I'm just saying that when you have a call into them and they know just exactly what you want, and hand it to another family.... Well it upset me to say the least.

Our turn will come I know... It just is frustrating with the mild needs. We have been told that due to the wait being longer that many are jumping the line to do the same. That is why I was saying the agencies ought to prioritize with families that have waited longer. That's all...

a Tonggu Momma said...

Lesa ~ I am so sorry. I couldn't even write a post about it last week when we reached our three year. Just know that you are not alone. We are standing right beside you, waiting with you.

M & M said...

Lesa,

I'm am thinking of you and everyone else too. It's hard to believe we've been waiting so long.

Hugs
M

Debz said...

Praying and sending you a very big hug.

PletcherFamily said...

I am totally shocked about how long the wait has become for China. That is so sad with all of those wonderful children waiting for homes.
We hope that time speeds up for you so that soon your little girl will be home.

FHL said...

Lisa I know this post was really hard to write....and quite frankly it shouldn't have needed to be as your daughter should already be home! Constantly praying that our children will be home soon!

Hugs to you...
M~
(Our agency also has a very long wait time for minor special needs....at least a year we were told.)

Doug and Terrye said...

Oh Sweetie, I could just hear the heartache in your post. I stopped lifted your name before the throne of God, pleading in your behalf. Don't give up...hold on...she's waiting for you to come and bring her home...I'll keep you in my prayers!

Terrye in FL

The Vinyards said...

I am so sorry that you guys are still waiting. China needs to speed up period! Praying for you guys to receive your referral.